Wedding Day?
The wedding day, is it really a big deal? A simple internet search revealed that the average cost of a wedding is about $30,000! That is the average. This means, for every $20k wedding, there is a $40k wedding. For every $10k wedding, there is a $50k wedding. Friends, I submit to you, that is just nuts!
It isn’t really about the money, though. I mean, if you can afford it then who cares? Right? But, let’s take a $30,000 wedding. Do you realize how much planning and preparation must be done to pull it off? Literally months! Now, I’m no wedding coordinator, but the fact that they exist gives us a clue about it. So much planning is necessary that a third party is needed to keep it all straight.
I did another internet search and found out that the average wedding ceremony is about 20-30 minutes long. On average, Americans spend about $1000 per minute for a wedding. Sorry, I got back on my cost soapbox again. Anyway, what I’m driving at, is that a tremendous amount of time and money is spent preparing for a 30 minute ceremony, with an epic party afterwards. How much time is spent planning for the lifetime after the wedding day? I don’t think a lot of data exists on that, but my guess is, not much. I am not talking about how long the engagement was or how long they knew each other.
What I am talking about, is having the tough conversations. Do you both really believe the same things? If not, how important are those differences? Are you in agreement on when and how many kids you want? How will you raise them? How will you handle the finances? These are not questions to brush aside, thinking because you are in love, these things will resolve effortlessly. That just isn’t so, and these questions are merely the tip of the iceberg.
In the old days, marriage prep involved a 30 minute meeting with the pastor. He would ask a few questions, offer some advice and then pray. Then churches starting offering marriage prep classes and guided discussions. Those are steps in the right direction, but the couple needs to take responsibility for nailing down the hard stuff first. Hopefully your church has a quality marriage prep ministry to help you. If not, then seek counsel from your pastor and you can always reach out to us. We can try to point you in the right direction.
There is nothing wrong with a nice wedding with all the traditional elements. However, I would rather see you spend your time planning a life together and then go to the Justice of the Peace, than have the best wedding money can buy, but go into it unprepared. - Greg
